Quotes
by SallyStringBass
Summary: A self-made, 30-part writing challenge centred around Count Bleck and his minions. Expect hijinx, drama, and some unexpected bonding. [Details in the Author's Notes.]
1. Laughing at Live Dragons

_I'm taking a break from my other story, due to the unending case of writer's block I've been dealing with. I'm having a bit of trouble articulating certain scenes, and overall, I've been rather inconsistent with Luigi's character. This should help me get the creative juices flowing. This will be your standard 30-day writing challenge, but I'll be allowing myself to go at my own pace._

 _Here are the rules: I pick a quote that I like from a random storybook on my bookshelf. The chosen quote has to be the opening line of each chapter I write. I'll try to keep quotes intact, but I may have to change names and such in some cases. I'll also be listing the original quotes at the end of each chapter, as well as the book it came from and the author's name._

* * *

"Never laugh at live dragons, you fool!" Dimentio sang, having to raise his voice due to the noise of the raging battle. Mr. L couldn't take his focus away from the fight long enough to manage a retort; the man in green just barely stepped aside in time to dodge a bellow of flames.

Mr. L _knew_ it was a bad idea to ambush the heroes in Flipside; it was their home base, so of course, they'd be fully rested and prepared for battle, even if they happened to be taken by surprise. But he couldn't pass up the chance to take out even one of the heroes, which would nullify their chances of combating the Count's plans. It would take all of them to stop the Void, after all. So when he and Dimentio found Bowser wandering Flipside with a grocery bag of mushroom shakes, they decided to act. Not without a bit of Mr. L's typical heckles and insults towards the Koopa, either.

Big mistake.

"Oh, that's it. _I'm gonna KILL you!_ " Bowser roared ferociously, stomping forward at an alarmingly fast rate. His red eyes were firmly locked onto the unfortunate Mr. L. "Your game is _over,_ little man!"

"E—enough stupid metaphors!" Mr. L finally managed to yell in Dimentio's direction, ducking under a pair of clawed swipes. "Help me out here!"

The jester laughed airily at the other's plight, hovering above the fray in a taunting manner. "Oh, Mr. L… Such weakness on your part. It's only one of the heroes." He smirked behind his mask. "Shouldn't someone as great as you be able to handle this yourself?"

Mr. L stomped and faced Dimentio fully, seething with rage, before being knocked aside by Bowser's tail. " _JUST SHUT UP AND HELP ME!_ " he screamed as he leapt out of range of another firey attack.

Dimentio sighed, visibly disappointed. "Oh, alright." He snapped his fingers to create a rectangular, translucent barrier around Bowser, stopping ramage short. The Koopa banged upon his prison with his fists, cursing and swearing at the two. Mr. L plopped onto the sidewalk and immediately laid down in exhaustion. Dimentio set foot on the ground and ceased hovering, peering down curiously at his comrade. "Interesting you chose to nap there, my friend. Wouldn't your bed be a better place to rest?"

Mr. L glared at him, but couldn't muster the energy to create a snarky comeback. Instead, he nodded, closing his eyes and sighing deeply. Nodding, Dimentio winked at Bowser, who was still making an incomprehensible ruckus. Bringing his middle finger and thumb together, Dimentio grinned. "Perhaps another time, arm-flailer."

With a quick snap, the two minions were warped away, and the barrier trapping Bowser faded from existence. The Koopa grew quiet, staring down the place where they were last standing. He didn't break from his trance until he felt a hand shaking him gently. "Bowser, Bowser! Are you alright?!"

Bowser huffed, turning to the voice. Peach stood there, a worried expression on her face. Mario stood beside her with Tippi upon his shoulder, both of them looking around in faint shock. "We heard the fighting," Tippi wavered, "but it looks like we got here too late to help…"

"I knew we should've stayed together," Peach muttered through gritted teeth. She held Bowser's hand up and began scanning his arm and shoulder for injuries. "You're not hurt, are you?"

"Nah, I'm fine." Bowser simply shrugged dismissively, lumbering over to pick up the overturned bag of mushroom shakes. "Just got caught by surprise is all. I don't think they'll be trying that again, considering I kicked their asses."

"Whose… asses did you kick, exactly?" Tippi questioned.

"The jester. And the green guy in the mask."

"...Mr. L?" Mario suddenly gasped, his eyes widened. " He was here? D—did you hurt him?!"

Bowser grinned smugly, clearly missing Mario's panicked tone of voice. "He ran away before I could draw blood. I definitely scared him, though." The Koopa chucked. "Too bad he's a wimp. It could've been fun had he stayed."

At that, Mario let out a breath he was holding. Peach frowned, noting his interest in Mr. L. This wasn't the first time it came up, either; Mario also seemed hesitant to fight Mr. L during their first encounter. But he didn't seem to be in the mood for questioning, so she left him alone, mindlessly nodding along to Bowser's retelling of the 'floor-mopping' of Bleck's minions. She silently reminded herself to ask about Mario it later.

She hoped he was alright...

* * *

 ** _"Never laugh at live dragons, Bilbo you fool!"_**

The Hobbit, JRR Tolkien

Chapter 14


	2. What If?

_I've, uh, suddenly realized that I have very few fiction books. I forgot that I mostly read non-fiction. Oops..._

 _Well, at the very least, this could be a good opportunity to take some suggestions! PM me an interesting, funny, or otherwise unique quote from a book you like (as well as the book it came from and author's name), and I'll probably write it. I'll also be sure to credit you for your help._

 _Thanks in advance!_

* * *

"What if I were gay?"

"For the last time," Nastasia muttered with a sigh, digging her fork into her bowl of spaghetti, "we wouldn't mind. Now be quiet and eat your food, 'k? We're on a tight schedule."

"Okay, okay," Mimi relented, leaning back into her chair and swivelling her head around the dining room. " _Buuuuuut,_ what if I were, say, super duper annoying? Would you hate me then?"

"You _are_ super duper annoying," Mr. L called from the oven, stirring a pot of pasta.

Mimi pouted, crossing her arms. "Not funny, L."

"I wasn't joking."

"Enough, you two. Mr. L, don't make me come over there."

Mr. L shrugged and turned back to the burner, only to shriek in surprise when he spotted the water boiling over, threatening to spill onto him. He quickly reached for the temperature dial, turning the burner off. The pot of pasta began to settle down.

"I thought ye said ye knew how teh cook spaghetti," O'Chunks commented from beside Nastasia, an eyebrow cocked. His face was smothered with red sauce, as well as his fingers. Looks like he didn't bother with utensils today.

Mr. L glared in reply. "I do! I _know_ how to cook spaghetti!" He paused, glancing warily back at the pot. "Or, I _think_ I do. I know the gist of it, anyway." A long, awkward pause ensued. Everyone slowly turned in their chairs to face him with various baffled expressions. Mr. L snarled, clearly embarrassed. "Lay off, okay?! I'm trying here!"

"Whatever," Mimi said dismissively, returning her gaze to Nastasia. "Now, what if I were—"

"...A nose picker, a fanfiction writer, or desperately in love with the Count, for starters?" Dimentio smiled from the far end of the table, reading a small black book caked in green sparkles. His eyes twinkled as he turned to another page. "Ooh! Or what if you were actually—"

"DIMMY!" Mimi shrieked, instinctively chucking a bright red Rubee into Dimentio's chest. The jester was knocked off his chair, but laughed uncontrollably as the girl snatched the book from the floor and stuck out her tongue. "Nastasia! Tell him to stop taking my diary!" she whined.

"Tell her to hide it better," Dimentio retorted, out of breath and laughing on the ground. "Under your pillow? Honestly? That's not hard to find, my friend."

Nastasia's eyes narrowed, and she very pointedly eyed each of the minions individually. "Dimentio, I'm losing my patience. Stop taking Mimi's Diary. O'chunks, use a damn napkin. Mimi, quiet at the table. And Mr. L..." She grabbed the bridge of her nose, inhaling. "...learn to cook or something, 'k?"

The table fell silent. Dimentio returned to his seat, a grin still plastered on his face. O'Chunks wiped his face with his sleeve as he ate with his bare hands. Mr. L arrived at the table with a bowl of stale pasta with too much parmesan cheese on it. Mimi didn't eat and simply watched the others in silence.

Until she spoke again.

"But what if I _was_ gay?"

"Mimi, I swear to Grambi..."

* * *

 ** _"What if I were gay?"_**  
 _Be More Chill, Ned Vizzini_  
 _Chapter 24_


	3. New Day, New World

"My people believe in the power of the sunrise. We believe each morning begins not just a new day, but a new world."

Peach smiled, shifting her weight to get more comfortable. The glow of the early morning sky bathed her in shades of soft orange and pink. And from the top of the Dotwood Tree, the view was especially breathtaking; they could even see Fort Francis from where they were. Mario grunted from beside Peach; sleeping on the wooden surface wasn't very good for his back. He rubbed his aching bones while Peach spoke, trying focus on her instead of his pains. "I always feel so blessed to see the sunrise," the princess continued. "It means a lot to me."

Mario whistled lowly. He turned his eyes to the sunrise, watching the ball of light creep over the horizon of the Bitlands. "I've never put that much thought into it... I mean, it's beautiful, don't get me wrong. But why is it so important, exactly?"

Peach grinned. "I'm glad you asked. You see—"

An annoyed grunt came from behind them, cutting Peach off. Bowser was busy rummaging through their bags, making a mental checklist of the group's inventory. "Don't get him started on the sun story, Peach. He's gonna keep you talking for ages."

Peach waved her hand, scoffing. "And what of it? Everyone can appreciate a history lesson."

"Not this early in the morning," Bowser argued, standing up and wiping his knees free of dirt. "We need to get a move on soon if we wanna find Tippi by sundown. There's no way you two will finish yapping by then." He approached the two, his arms crossed disapprovingly. "As much as I love your voice, Peach, we can't afford to waste time here."

Mario huffed. "Since when do _you_ care about keeping on schedule? Sounds to me like you just hate a good story."

"And it sounds to _me_ that you won't mind if the world goes to shit." Bowser threw him a prompt and dirty look. "Come get your bag. You're on scouting duty today."

Slightly hurt by the remark, Mario quietly relented. "Okay, okay," he sighed, standing up. "I'm sorry. I'll ask about it another time." He left Peach's side to snatch his bag from the pile of supplies, then starting walking away. "I'll meet you guys at the top." Without another word, and before Peach could stop him, Mario leapt upwards and out of sight.

Once he was definitely gone, Peach narrowed her eyes at the Koopa. "Look here, you jerk. I don't know what your problem is, but you'd better fix that terrible attitude of yours."

Bowser's face was oddly blank as Peach spoke. He didn't seem angered by her words, or even remotely upset, which inwardly shocked the princess. The Koopa just… _stared_ at her. Like she hadn't said a thing. It was unsettling.

"Bowser, say something already! Please, I—"

"I'm sorry."

Peach froze, doing a double-take. "Wh—what?"

The Koopa's face softened. "I'm sorry. For the wedding. I've been thinking about it, and… the only reason the worlds are being destroyed is cause I wanted to marry you so badly. Maybe we could've avoided all this if I didn't…" He paused in a rare display of hesitance. "...if I didn't love you so much, I guess."

Peach went limp, gawking slightly. "B—Bowser…? Are you… apologizing?"

"N—no!" Bowser suddenly phased back into his regular, furious demeanour. "Absolutely not! King Bowser _never_ apologizes!" But when Peach continued to stare in disbelief, Bowser's facade began to crack. "S—stop staring at me! Let's just get ready to go… or whatever!"

As the Koopa King stomped away in embarrassment, Peach found herself fluctuating between utter shock and… amusement? Relief? She wasn't quite sure what she was feeling, but she knew one thing for sure: Bowser was certainly changing. Whether that was a good thing or not was yet to be determined.

A bird chirped, and Peach peeked behind her. The sun was now fully risen, marking the beginning of a new day, and a new world.

* * *

 _ **"Egyptians believe in the power of the sunrise. They believe each morning begins not just a new day, but a new world."** _

_The Red Pyramid, Rick Riordan_


	4. Mercy but Murders

_"Mercy but murders, pardoning those who kill. Mercy tears at the fabric of justice, allowing wicked hearts to roam without comeuppance for their sins. Therefore, in the face of evil, mercy must be abandoned in favour of righteousness and equity. Sinners must be vanquished, lest the world remain tainted and impure. Worldly perfection requires this sacrifice."_

Count Bleck heaved a heavy sigh, turning away from the Dark Prognosticus, which hovered before him. The front cover fell slowly, closing the book once more with a quiet thump of leather against paper. The Count turned to Nastasia, who was standing idly at his right side. "...So says the Dark Prognosticus."

Nastasia licked her lips but kept silent, opting to nod along to her master's speech. This didn't go unnoticed by the Count, who decided to prod a little bit out of curiosity. "Nastasia," he said in a low voice. "What troubles you? Have you something to say to Count Bleck?"

At first, the Count received no reply. Assuming she wouldn't answer, Count Bleck huffed and readied his hands, intending to flip himself away.

"Wait!"

The Count lowered his hands, swivelling to face Nastasia fully. She was very obviously on edge, avoiding eye contact and even fidgeting slightly. Very unusual, indeed, for someone usually so stoic and composed. "Come then, Count Bleck demanded. There are things to be done today."

Nodding, but still hesitant to speak, Nastasia finally made eye contact. "Um, about that passage from the Prognosticus," she began warily. "Is that... true? Is mercy really that bad?"

Count Bleck smiled faintly, glancing at the book behind him. "Of course, Count Bleck replied. Mercy kills. It says so in the book. And the book is never wrong."

"I know, I know. But, um… I always thought mercy was supposed to be cherished and such, yeah?" She grinned for a moment, remembering something. That's, um, what you told me when you saved me. Do you remember that, Count?"

The smile on the Count's face faded. "...Yes. Count Bleck remembers."

"A—and… um… and..." Nastasia paused as if the words on her tongue had turned to smoke, completely muted. Count Bleck cocked an eyebrow, gazing with a strange intensity as Nastasia regained her voice. "And... Timpani," she murmured with a waver. "Timpani showed you mercy when she found you that day, didn't she?"

Almost immediately after Nastasia uttered those words, the Count's expression darkened. "...Nastasia," he muttered forcibly, gripping his staff so tightly that his hand began to pale. "Nastasia. We do not say that name in these halls. _Ever._ Do you understand me?"

The woman beside him flinched. "U—um, yes, Count. I do. I just—"

"Just WHAT exactly?" the Count snapped, stomping quickly towards a rather frightened Nastasia. Before she could think to formulate a reply, she was cut off. "BE SILENT! That name is NOT to be spoken of EVER AGAIN! _DO YOU HEAR ME?!"_

"Y—yes! I h—hear you!"

Count Bleck heaved, stepping backwards and looking away. "Good. Now get out. _Now._ "

Knowing better than to argue, Nastasia quickly fled with tears pricking her eyes. The Count clenched his fist, fighting back the welling pangs of guilt. "No," he told himself, straightening his posture. "There is no room for mercy in a perfect world. She will be fine."

But as he flipped away to find solitude somewhere in the castle, the Count began to doubt that she was fine.

* * *

 ** _"Mercy but murders, pardoning those who kill."_**  
 _Romeo and Juliet_  
 _William Shakespeare_


End file.
